Christmas reflections

Had a very nice time-

a picture of the kids at Christmas, before we had 45 for dinner- dh made vegetarian Swedish meatballs in sauce with egg noodles, made from walnuts, rice, cheddar cheese, I made a savory cheesecake with crackers for an appetizer, then I made a triple batch of chocolate bread pudding with chocolate chips and walnuts for dessert. Made mashed potatoes, people brought turkey and ham for the meat eaters, wild rice casserole, spinach salad with cranberries, feta, and pine nuts, cookies, apple pie, dd made glazed cinnamon cookies and sour cream chocolate cupcakes with fudgy frosting, my brother brought wine, and my friend brought Amaretto to have with cream and/or coffee.

We had a Chinese white elephant gift exchange.

The TV and Wii were a BIG hit. DD age 8 had been quizzing me about Santa this year, then when I went up to check on the kids before I went to bed at 2:30, she had already been in her stocking and said thanks, mom, but when she saw the TV she said, "How did you think Santa got it here? Did he tie it on his sled?" It made a believer out of her all over again!

Dh got me a t-shirt that says, Minnesota Kid Rancher, Shoestring Ranch! Plus tons of candy. Dd got me my favorite candy, a box of See's.

All in all, a great two days! Everyone was happy, they all liked the time together and the kids are very happy with some new things. Today some still in pajamas, eating leftovers and playing with all the loot! We are very blessed, didn't attend church on Christmas, but go every week. We remembered the reason for the season, and also had fun with all the trappings of presents, food, and company.

Some thoughts on parenting

This was something I had posted on a blog about parenting, the reality versus what we had thought we would do- I've elaborated a little.

I hope they all grow up healthy and pretty content, and Christians. I had 5 little sisters, the youngest was 7 when I had my first. I was in grad school, asked a friend for a baby, Single mommed it for 6 years, wanted another child, met dh. He said he'd give me a bushel of babies- we have six living children and two in heaven.

I wasn't prepared for marriage to be so hard. I wasn't prepared to lose babies or miss them so much everyday. I wasn't prepared for illnesses or deaths. I wasn't prepared for how you hurt so much for your kids when they hurt. I wasn't prepared for a phone call saying my dd's best friend died when she was 16. That continues to one of my saddest memories, that was a very hard winter. I wasn't prepared for going and checking to make sure everyone's fine before I go to sleep, and wishing I could do the same for my college daughter. I wasn't prepared for how hard empty nest hit with my first one, when I was pregnant with my last one. I wasn't prepared for how sweet baby's breath smells. I wasn't prepared for wishing for that basketball shot for an uncoordinated daughter and how happy I was when she got it, or hearing a child should repeat a grade and how happy I was when she was in a school that fit her well, in her grade for her age. I wasn't prepared for how miserable it is when everyone has the flu, with one bathroom! I wasn't prepared for how fun it is to have traditions with dh, wrapping Christmas presents with that dorky fireplace on TV, him rubbing my back when I'm pregnant, that he hides Easter candy out in the open to be funny. I am secretly kind of thrilled I've become a good cook, with little money and time, the kids tell me I'm a good cook-

The births? I've had everything from home birth to high risk pregnancy and delivery. I've nursed for 13 years, but had to show the 22 year old nurse that I knew how to before I could leave the hospital. I'm telling you, she didn't know how to! She told me I did it wrong. The reality was the baby knows how.

I was prepared to work, and not prepared to stay home, now I'm happy at home for the most part, and not prepared to work more, at least for 2-3 years.

Here's something funny- my family growing up was GBGGGGGG, my family is GBGGGGG! How's that for coicidence? It feels right to me to have a big sister, big brother, and a bunch of little girls.

One more surprise- how engaged I am in this home life, I feel I'm learning lots and continue to strive for better relationships with God, my dh, and my kids. I am certainly feeling I'm using all my skills, I cringe when I say I'm a housewife, I somehow hate that term, but do love doing it. I wish we had more "status" or something for what we do.

Parenting has been my major accomplishment, and yet I don't know if I'm good at it. I get impatient, and yell, and don't have enough time to hear everything- all the kids talk a lot, and want to tell me tons of details. I like to hear them, but sometimes just run out of time. I don't know if I'm getting better or worse. In some ways I was an energetic parent with my first few kids in daycare, we had more money and did more, with these kids we cook more and watch more TV. I know now you can take a sliver out of a sleeping child, or even stitches, easier than when they are awake. I know now not to get pets I don't like. I think I let the kids know I love them so much it is like taking my breathe away, but I don't know if it has sunk in.

In the meantime, I continue to read and learn about parenting, budgeting, running a house, and education. It is my hope that I'm be a good enough parent, as I learned about in grad school with my little baby Tasha and her little Eskimo-looking face and hair sleeping in the car seat by my chair....at the time I just wanted to watch her sleeping, but did get through school with a 4.0 that semester. I think just as you want to do good for your parents when your a child, I want to do well for my kids this part of my life. I hope I can do them justice.

My grocery list for December-

Walnuts, 4 lbs, dh is making vegetarian Swedish non-meatbals for Christmas, of walnuts and rice in a sour cream sauce on egg noodles-for 50
5 butter-4 for bakery and one for Christmas cookies, spritz
3 margerine for daily use
4 tp
2 size two diapers
2 pullups
flour
sugar
4 cinnamon chips for bakery
coconut for bakery
raisins for bakery
cinnamon
egg noodles
sour cream
cream cheese
ice cream
cheese
parmesan
salsa
choc chips
4-5 dozen eggs
wheat germ
corn syrup
chips
frozen pizza
catsup
bananas
2 creme brulee coffee creamer
canned mushrooms and black olives for pizza and spaghetti
Morningstar veggie dogs
dish soap

I should be a little more frugal- no veggie dogs, ice cream, or frozen pizza- what are your weaknesses? What seems "worth it" to you?

Preparing for Christmas a little- the snow has kind of thrown me for a loop. we haven't had to deal with so much snow so early for years!

The kids have been taking turns being sick- it has been very nice not to be scheduled to work during the school day, no stresses with scheduling, Just taking time to be home with a sick child seems like a luxury-thanks, Graham, for working two jobs, so we don't have to stress about sick days and doctor appts! Remember splitting half-work days when True and Tasha and Ivy were sick? We've just had lots of appts, with True's broken arm, the car accident- those are finally over! Baby shots will be done soon, although due to her low weight Capri might be followed more closely. My mighty mouse took a few individual steps today.

Have a relaxed holiday season!

Tracy